


Normal Like You

by PoisonCookie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Aftermath of Violence, Age Difference, Autistic Castiel, Human Gabriel, Lawyer Sam Winchester, M/M, My First Fanfic, journalist Gabriel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-13 18:24:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2160537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonCookie/pseuds/PoisonCookie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You find yourself in a bar, where a man just sits down next to you and start talking. </p><p>Aka. The middle of our story, and then the beginning. You learn how our heroes met. </p><p>"Name's Gabe, by the way.  Struggling stand-up, sometimes sit-down comedian. Day job as a journalist covering criminal cases, you see and hear some shit there that really gives you a need to spend the rest of your day joking."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Prozac Doesn't Do it For Me Anymore. -In which a strange man just starts talking to you.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Fanfic, so I am really having problems thinking of how to tag this this thing.  
> Will probably add tags as I go on and learn a little. If you see something I should have added a tag for or something, please let me know.
> 
> Also, there's a lot of OOC going on, but that's how they insisted on behaving.

\-------------------------------

\- I can't.

I told him that, my eyes overflowing with tears I was not ready to acknowlege.

  - I can't be your dirty fucking,  literally FUCKING secret. I get that you're ashamed. I get that I'm older, that I'm the wrong freaking gender and have made a career out of not being taken seriously. But you know what? I'm also too damn old to sit around waiting for stolen kisses in hidden places. I don't want to spend the rest of my life being locked up in your closet. 

******

I know I jumped in the middle of the story there, but fuck it. Got your attention,  didn't I? Need someone to talk to, been a hell of a night and you got that "listener" vibe.  What you say we make a deal? I'll buy you a beer or five, you pretend to listen to my pathetic moaning? It'd be a lot cheaper for me than a fucking therapist anyway. You know, sometimes the best you can do is just to tell a stranger.

Name's Gabe, by the way.  Struggling stand-up, sometimes sit-down comedian. Day job as a journalist covering criminal cases, you see and hear some shit there that really gives you a need to spend the rest of your day joking.

******

So, one morning about a month ago I was covering this rape trial. The victim wasn't the Hollywood victim type. She was big and strong. But let me tell you something; it ain't fair, but it's the truth. Seeing a woman looking like she'd be able to kick your ass and not even be out of breath break down like that? It's more shocking than three fragile little flowers put together doing  the same. It really drives home the truth that there's not a fucking thing those women can do to really be safe.

She'd been drugged, see? The fucking asshole that raped her was a skeletal looking fellow, and I honestly hope he'll get back tenfold of what he did. I won't go into detail tho,  would be a waste of beer to buy you one just to watch you throw it all up again.

But that's where I met him.  Sam Freaking...  You know what? He's so far into the goddamn closet,  he's hanging out with the tie-died shirts and zebra print pants. I'll just call him Sam.  Or giraffe.  'Cause he's tall enough to reach the top of the tree, and his tongue had some serious fucking  skills, cuss  intended.

But I'm getting ahead of myself again. He was the young lawyer, fresh out of law school, doing this pro bono. He had long hair tied up at the back and a poor quality suit that still fit better than it had any right to do, giving off an tailored impression. He spoke with conviction,  and there was as much heart as there was logic behind his words as he guided the lady through her retelling of the events. And yeah, ok. I was smitten by the time recess was called. I'm a grown ass man, so call it a mid life crisis if you want... But there was freaking elephants with wings flying around in my stomach as I approached him. All for work of course, I wanted some statement for the article.

"Gabriel Jones, Obscurion Times..." I said, keeping my voice as steady as it possibly can be when you're talking to the man of your dirtiest dreams.  Had we not just been through a horrifying retelling of a sexual assault, I'd never have the nerve to talk to the kid. He was almost half my age and looking like an underwear model,  even fully dresses.

\- I need some statements for the paper,  and I just want to say, off the record of course, that I hope you get that bastard locked away for a long time. Altho, if I have any say in it, when I'm done with this story, solitary confinement might be the safest place for him.

So,  I get a little emotional when it comes to these things. I know to keep my writing factual;  doesn't mean I should stay distanced.

He smiled a little at me, gave me that little "we will have justice" speach all lawyers on both sides always does.

\- And off the record, I am surprised you even know what this trial was about, the way you've been checking me out I was certain you hadn't heard a word of it.

And yeah, ok. So "Subtle" isn't my middle name. Or nickname. You won't find my picture in any proximity to that word in the dictionary.  But it still meant he'd payed a fuckton more attention to me during the proceedings than one really would expect. And he didn't seem particularly freaked out by my interest either.

"Oh,  you noticed,  did you?  Well, in that case...  In for a penny,  in for the whole freaking pound I guess.  I know it's in rather bad taste, considering the matter at hand today... But if you'd like to unwind over a coffee,  or a beer, or me... Here's my number. "

I quickly jotted down the numbers on an old receipt I found in my coat pocket (thank fuck I never bother empty those) and handed it to him with a wink.

I'm really fucking glad I taped whatever happened in that courtroom after tho, the rest flying by in a blur as I willed the whole thing to be over and done with.

I was on edge the rest of the day.  Hadn't I had my article to write, I would've been staring at my phone like a dog eyeing his empty bowl before feeding time. By the time deadline had came and passed, and I'd sent the article in (30 minutes late as is my habit) hope was gone. What kind of old fool was I, thinking this brilliant bright kid with looks that could kill would take up silly old me on an offer like that?

That was when my phone buzzed with a text from an unknown number.

_How the hell do I formulate an opening message to a guy whos name I can't remember? -That lawyer guy-_

Yeah, maybe I should've written my name next to the digits. Remembering the names of journalists are probably not the highest priority during a case like that. I saved the number to my phone before replying.

_You could always start by telling him how his devilishly handsome looks have been haunting you all day. -That rugged journalist._

Another buzz.

Legsy:  
 _Well,  not sure about devilishly handsome, more impishly cute, I'd say. Still, there was mention of a beer and I'd like to take him up on the offer._

 _That offer might be retracted, Ostrich.  You don't go around calling grown ass men cute.  How would you feel if I called you that?_ *

Legsy:  
 _Well, I'd see it as a move up from ostrich for sure. Seriously? Tall jokes? I have other traits too, you know._

_I'm sure you do. And if I ever get you down to eye level I'd be thrilled to learn about them, flagpole. What you say- The Kiln, in 30?_

Legsy:  
 _I'm starting to see I'm just part of some weird height fetish here... Nevertheless, I'll be there_.

******

Between you and me,  I have more of a "people who stand out" fetish. Tall, short, whatever. If they carry whatever they have with confidence and humor, that gets my attention.  There's a lot of attractive people in the world if you know how to look. Like you. You're a good listener, something attracted me to you enough to spill my guts all over you. If that Eiffel tower hadn't run away with my heart I'd be trying my hardest to get in your pants, I'm sure. But I digress.

******

The Kiln...  You've heard of it, right? Pub feeling with added sexual tension provided by the artwork they display. I didn't choose it for that, tho. Well,  not mostly anyway.  There were two other reasons.

First reason; my little brother owns and runs the place.  I think he views it as one long art project,  with some study of human nature thrown in. I figured that if I got stood up, some drinks on the house would not be a bad thing.

The second reason was based in my very hopeful, positive and horny nature; the place is at the first floor of my building. If this became an perfect evening and I against all odds got him to go home with me,  he wouldn't have too much time to change his mind.

I spent the 30 minutes cleaning my place up,changing my sheets and taking a quick shower. I'm a dreamer after all.

I managed to get downstairs just in time to nearly run into the giant on his way in. He quirked an eyebrow at me.

\- Eager to get in, are you? Why's that? Got some hot date or something?

I didn't fidget at that,  no matter what his version of the story says. Just so you know, you know? I maintained my composure perfectly fine as I replied:

\- I thought so, but now it seems I'm just here to get questioned by an ent.

He laughed lightly at that, so I consider it a victory, even tho he did point out that we'd still be in the courtroom if he actually had been one.

I guess, when you cut it all down to the core, we both have made words our livelihoods. So I shouldn't be too surprised that awkward silences were few and far between, but we fell into a rythm so fast it still felt surreal. One of us would ask a question, get a vague answer that quickly turned into new battles of wit.

With brains being my main turn on and food having been the least of my priorities that day, I could feel my inhibitions drop with every sip of my drink. When suddenly, he looked at me with a more serious expression than I'd seen all night, reminiscent of the one he wore in the courtroom.

\- You know, all this flirting...  It's a little scary to be honest. I've always seen myself as straight. 

I was bracing myself for the "it's been fun, the attention have been flattering" speech I'd heard more times than I'd care to count.  As I've told you, I'm not subtle. The downside to that is of course the pretty high rejection percentage. But he continued:

\- It never even crossed my mind that I could be attracted to a man, until I saw you staring today and realized I liked it.  That I really wanted that attention from you.  But yeah. It means I got no roadmap for this at all.  And I'm confused. I woke up today a regular straight guy,  and now I'm sitting here, not knowing what I am anymore.

So, that was a new one.  Open honesty with a gay crisis on the side. I gently placed my hand on top of his ,where it was rested on the table, and certain body parts reminded me how long it had actually been since I touched another person.  Quickly summoning the crime scene photos from earlier did wonders to calm my raging libido though, and get enough blood back to my brain to formulate a coherent reply.

  - Clearly,  you're a guy who defines himself too much by his sexual preferences. I like to think of it as a scale.  Well several scales really. You got asexuals that can be romantic as fuck and love a good snuggle, you got pansexuals that don't really fall in love. And you got everything inbetween. So let's just say you're still 99.9 percent straight then, and the rest is me. 

I winked at him, and he smiled carefully at me and nodded.

  - Fair enough, I can accept that, I guess. 

I continued:

  - And no pressure at all, but you know... I got the maps. I've been exploring these worlds longer than...  Hell,  longer than you've been alive. See, kid, that's the thing that got me confused. I'm old enough to be your dad, and it makes me feel like a creep. Not that that's going to stop me, mind you. But I was pretty sure you were going to.

He looks like he's about to laugh, again.

  - Not to insult your level of maturity, old man... But I can't really say I feel like we're unevenly matched in that department.  Besides. It's not like we're getting married, or anything. 

Yeah. I hadn't actually considered proposing marriage to a kid I'd just met, but it still felt a little like a punch to the gut. It really drove home the reality of the situation.

That's when I should've told him, I guess. That I'm too old to be someones experiment, that I don't really play around with these things, that I'm at a place in my life where what I should be looking for was someone to come home to.

But I didn't, instead I looked him straight in the eye,  gripped his hand still under mine and told him that no, we weren't, but I'd still like to have some out of wedlock fun with him if he was game. I told him my apartment was just upstairs and that it was cheaper anyway to just grab our next beers out of my fridge. "No pressure" I reminded him.

He blushed a little at that, and actually getting the guy to blush quickly was added as another point in my favour, and a mental image to be stored away and kept for lonely nights way after this night was over.

  - Uhm... Yeah.  Upstairs?  I can do that.  

We got up and walked outside in silence.  Moving a little closer to eachother with each step. Or rather, I was moving closer to him, but he didn't step away.  By the time we came to the door we were practically touching, and he casually threw an arm over my shoulder, pulling me closer. Seemingly just to fit us both through the door, but he didn't let go again. Not that I tried to get away.

Not a word was said as we made our way to, then through the door leading to the stairs.  The sounds of our steps as we walked up them echoed loudly in the room, and perhaps none of us wanted to hear our words thrown back at us by cold, empty walls.  I twisted my head a little, and could hear his heart pounding away in his chest.

  - Does this make you nervous?

I asked as I unlocked the door to my apartment.

  - You know, I have no expectations. If we just have a beer and you're on your way, I won't be disappointed. 

  - Liar. 

He whispered as my door unlocked. And before I knew what was happening, he had me pinned against the wall in an unexpected kiss, a hand gently cupping the proof of my interest. Finally,  we broke away for air. My neck was complaining already, but at that point I couldn't have given less of a fuck about that, as I was too busy focusing on the excellent chances of an actual fuck in the imminent future. I grabbed his hands and pulled him into my  bedroom.

  - I'm taking that as a "no" on the "just a beer", then. 

He nodded, and wrapped me up in another kiss, as he more or less threw us onto the bed.

Now,  I could not very well let him take charge. I was the one promising him to show him the ropes, and suddenly I found myself following his lead. It was time I got on top of this.  Quite literally, actually, as I rolled us both over, one knee on each side of his hips.

******

And then I...  Oh.  Your beer is empty I see. You should've said something, I was getting lost in thought while you were getting thirsty.

Don't go anywhere now,  I'll be right back. Just got to take a leak and buy the next round. You really are a saint for listening to all of this.  


	2. I Can't Hide My sexual Life - In Which Gabe Has Never Heard of TMI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They take it to the bedroom. Where they mostly talk.

Oh, good! You're still here! Was worried you'd had enough and snuck out. Now, don't be shy when you need another one. I promised beer, so the beer there shall be!

******

Now, where was I. Oh, right. Fully clothed in my bed with an blushing virgin giant between my legs. I could see him getting ready to flip us over again, but quite frankly; I knew I was the better equipped of us to do the leading in this horizontal waltz. So I gently grabbed both his arms and held them down, leaning into him with a whisper;

\- Don't you fight me, darling. Let me take care of you.

His reaction was immediate, as he sucked in his lower lip, nodding.

Could this be? Was this a response to... I had to test my theory.  
I tightened my grip on his arms, and there was a silent moan.

\- You like being restricted a little?

He turned his head the side and spoke into the pillow.

\- Not just a little.

It was muffled, almost inaudible; but it was there. My head filled with delightful little images, it was all I really needed to push a little further. Well, for information. I got off him and sat down, resting my back against the headboard of my bed.

\- Sam? Look at me. 

He did, looking worried.

\- Gabe? What's wrong? Why did you stop?

\- Nothing is wrong, handsome. I'm just going to be horribly blunt. That little confession of yours gave me some delicious ideas involving ropes, but that means we need to have a little chat.

If he was blushing before, I guess this was just his best impression of a horny tomato. Deliciously red, licking his lips...

\- Ropes?

I waited for more, but all I got was a look as from a kid who's just been told that candy is the healthiest breakfast.

\- Yes, ropes. Silk ropes if you want me to specify...

I took his hand and ran a finger along the soft skin on the inside of his wrist as I talked, trying to keep the mood up.

\- But I need to know, have you ever played with this kind of thing before? 

\- Well, I have... With girls, sort of? But it was always I who did the tying, tho. 

I wasn't surprised, I had already pretty much guessed as much. A nice young man like him probably did nice things with nice young ladies. And nice young ladies rarely want to "ruin their image" by playng dirty little games.

\- I need you to tell me if it feels wrong. I would love to do this for you, but it's got to be just that. For you, not to you. You have only known me for a day after all, and this is a trust thing.

\- I want to try... 

His voice was still thick, eyes fixed on my fingers still tracing little symbols over his pulse point.

\- I've done some research. I'll probably need a safeword? Will... 

I couldn't keep back the laughter. Of course he had done research. He seemed the studious type after all. If he found something a turn on, he probably studied it to pieces as if good sex actually came from textbooks.

My laughter took him by surprise. The best description of his expression really would be "pouting". Hadn't he been the very manly mountain of a man I was currently trying to mount... Or get to mount me, I would have told him so. Instead I went for reassurance.

\- Sugar. I'm so very sorry for laughing, you're just... You're perfect, and so very, very adorable. Research is good if you want to play with these things, but you're way ahead of scheldue. You hardly know me, and as much as it delights me to hear that your interests go beyond the simplest stuff...

I pretended to not notice him squirming at that, as I continued.

\- They are for things a lot heavier than would be adviseable to do with someone you just met, darling. They are for role playing, full on scenes and sessions, not for a little bit of rope looped around those gorgeous limbs of yours.

I had moved down the bed as I spoke, and kissed his wrists gently.

\- If you want me to stop anything, just tell me so. I will.

I looked into his eyes, wanting him to know I was serious about this.

\- I would tie you so loosely, you'd be able to slip out of it if you felt the need. This would only be about making you feel good.

He plastered on a cheeky grin, but it was too weak to be completely real.

\- Ok, all that is well and good. But did you bring me here to have an audience for your talk on sex practices, or to practice sex? Where are those ropes you're bragging about? I'm still free as the proverbial bird. 

He flapped his arms in a somewhat ridiculous manner at that last part, but the look in his eyes was challenging. Not at all a laughing matter really.

\- Just you wait, you will soon enough be my captive audience. 

I winked at him, as I went to get my special ropes. they were safely tucked away in a large padlocked leather bag at the bottom of my closet, together with all the other things that would without a doubt give my pious oldest brother a heart attack were he ever to find them.

He had sat up now, eyed widening as he watched me rummage through it. I must admit, it has become quite the collection over the years. I tend to go overboard with things I like, this is no different.

I could see he was about to say something, but it was an eternity before it actually came out in sound.

\- Is that... Is all that stuff for sex? What are you? A professional or something?

\- Manners, you lovely grizzly of mine! A gentleman never asks another gentleman about his toy collection! But, to answer your questions: Come back some time and I might show you , Gabe, and... Fuck, do you really think I'd have a shot at that carreer? I might have wasted all those years at college, then!

I finally found what I was looking for. Two coils of purple silk rope, tucked away in an inner pocket I had forgot existed. I grabbed them and put them on my night stand. Finally I could return my full focus to the adonis seated at my bed.

\- Now, sexy, I fear you're wearing far too much clothes for this next part. But don't worry, I will help you rectify this right away. 

I kissed him, and it felt like it had been hours or days since last, not ten minutes of talking. The last one had been a power struggle, this time he was pliant. Our whole dynamic had changed, it seemed as he followed my lead. Far too soon I was reminded that I am in fact a mere mortal, and as such am not going to be able to quit this addiction to that thing called air. I broke the kiss, and placed another one at his neck as I started undressing him. I loosened his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt, as he went for mine. It was not the sleek mutual undressing scene of a romatic movie, I almost got an elbow to the nose. But despite the awkwardness and that it probably took more time with all the mishaps and weird angles and kisses that didn't quite hit their targets, it was beautiful.

Soon enough all our clothes were gone, even his tie. 

I have a thing for ties. I like any man that willingly puts a leash on himself.

How's your beer doing? Oh, you've hardly touched it. Pacing yourself, eh? Might be wise as this could turn into a long night. If you want to of course! You really are my saviour for tonight, just listening to me going on and on like this.

But, anyway... There he was in front of me, a wall of skin and flesh, a wall I was more than ready to climb. And from the looks of his... Well, let's just say he looked to be ready for anything I could possibly throw at him as well. I just could not stop admiring this work of living, breathing art in front of me.

\- How beautiful you are! 

I cupped his cheek for a second before I slowly ran my hand down to his chest, giving him a gentle push. He let himself fall backwards onto the bed, which gave off a rather loud creaking sound at impact. It reminded me that music might be a good idea, so I hooked my phone up to a speaker and selected the first random playlist I could find. Luckily it wasn't a too bad one, and soon enough "My Sexual Life" by Everclear was part of the soundtrack for my sexual life.

\- Just lie there, sexy, and keep still for me.

I had grabbed my rope and looped it around his right wrist, fixing it in a knot not too tight against the skin. I kissed him again, stroking his chest and stomach, almost reaching his cock. I could hear his breath catch, and feel him starting to squirm. I immediately started consentrating on bringing the rope around the headboard, and tying up his left hand.

\- Didn't I tell you to keep still? See what happens when you don't!

He pulled on the ropes, but I had not given much slack behind the headboard so his arms stayed nicely spread out. His face showed no trace of stress, only eagerness.

I made my way down to the other end of the bed with the second rope, quicly looping it around each leg of the bed. I brought one end up, and started tying up his left ancle, all the while kissing a trail from ancle to knee.

Now, kissing hairy legs is not one of my favourite things. But watching him react, hearing little sounds of happiness as I moved further up still made it a hell of an erotic experience. As soon as the knot was done I continued my trail of kisses to the top of his thigh, before giving his other leg the same attention. By the time I was done, he was hissing at me.

\- Gabe! You goddamned tease!

\- Nobody ever taught you patience, pet? Maybe it's time you learn?

I straddled his chest so I could lean in to kiss him again, and the moan he now let out was really too glorious for words. I once again kissed my way down his torso, sometimes sucking little marks into his skin. If this was a one night thing, I would atleast give him something to remind him of it until the marks faded. He started to seem desperate by the time I had reached his navel, and started begging as I was licking circles around it.

\- Please, Gabe, Please!

And isn't that just the most beautiful way my name has ever sounded? How could I possibly resist such a plea?

I got further down the bed and... Well. You know how a blow job works, right? I don't want to make you too uneasy, you're not looking too comfortable right now. But, let's just say I lavished his cock and balls with as much as attention as I had to give with those eyes fixed on me. It didn't last long before he was panting loudly.

\- I can't... God! I can't hold off much... Oh God... I'm... 

And that's when he came. His eyes rolled back and his back arched right off the mattress. If I lose my memory when I grow old, I am certain I still will have that image burned into my mind forever. It was pretty damn awesome.

I untied him gently while he was catching his breath, softly massaging the faint marks on his wrists and ancles where he had pressed against his restraints. As soon as I was done I flopped down on the bed next to him. I started to really feel the effects it all had had on me. I had been so focused on him, I hadn't been thinking about release for my own arousal. I wasn't about to ask the guy to return the favor, I had promised him I'd make this about him and take care of him after all... And jerking off right there? I might take a guy to bed on the first date, but there are limits, even for me.

In the end I decided to just do my business in the shower. As much as I wanted to soak up every minute before this clearly bewildered creature came to his senses and never wanted to see me again, I really should take care of this.

I didn't get that far, though. As soon as I rolled over to the side to get up, he threw an arm around me and pulled me close. 

\- Where are you going?

His words were somewhat muffled against the back of my head, and the vibrations of his voice seemed to travel straight down to my groin.

\- I got things to do, places to be. And by that I mean I'm planning on finding my happy ending in the shower. Just relax here and enjoy yourself, my very friendly giant.

He didn't let go, instead his hand travelled further down, placing it just where I needed it most.

\- Would hardly be fair, would it? Now you know all the ridiculous faces I make. Only fair that I get to see yours. 

And that should not have sounded so very sexy. It had absolutely no right to sound as hot as it did. In the state I was in, he probably could have recited the rules of golf, and I would have found it equally arousing. Especially as he wrapped his fingers around me.

One minute later his mouth was on me. Two minutes; I was done for. But,no matter what he might tell you... I did not squeal. What escaped my lips was a very manly grunt.

Three minutes later, we were both laid out on the bed next to eachother, wearing ridiculous grins. Four minutes later, and we were fast asleep.

Next morning I woke up just as expected. In a cold, lonely bed. In a cold, lonely apartment. There were no notes. No signs he'd ever been there.

I am not one to regret great sex, or at least I had never been until then. But my morning coffee tasted more bitter than ever that morning. My apartment seemed simultaneously too big and claustrophobic and the loneliness I never knew I had been feeling was suddenly far too loud.

I had, without a doubt, gone ahead and gotten somewhat into a one night stand far out of my league. I was certain I would never see him again. And quite ready to wallow forever in my misery.

******

I'm so sorry, my phone is ringing. And I really need to take this. I'll just step outside for a moment, if you could just be an angel and watch my beer? I'll be back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for bothering to read this. It's my first, so I'm pretty nervous about it all.


	3. They Said You Called Me - In which our story takes a turn.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where we learn more of Gabes family, and something bad has happened...

**********************************************************************

Sorry,  that was... Actually, I'll get to that eventually. 

******

So there I was, in over my head. I'm actually not that good with the emotional stuff. Throughout my long and joyful life I've had precisely two serious relationships, both of which ended because saying "serious" and my name in the same sentence might be a good indicator of brain damage.

Still. Stupid daddy longlegs had brought out the teenager in me again, and I found myself touching upon subjects I had thought long dead and fucking buried. I was angry at the world for playing such a trick on me, I was hoping against hope that he'd suddenly come back. Maybe he'd just went out for breakfast? Or coffee? Maybe something important had come up?

But I pushed the hopes down as soon as a new possible explanation surfaced. I felt guilty for all the times I had been the one to sneak out on someone, I felt lonely and cuddly and fucking hungry.

The hunger won out eventually, and I realized I had to go outside. I don't keep much food at home, and right then the contents of my fridge was pretty much only beer. Hardly a sensible breakfast.

It wasn't until I was on my way I realized my phone was still in my bed room, hooked up to a speaker.

Guess I could have saved myself some pain if I'd actually kept it with me. But nobody ever contacts me through it these days, it's all e-mails and messenger and Skype and all the stuff that goes through my laptop when I'm home anyway.

Except this time, of course.

Three texts from Legsy.  
Two from my older brother.  
One missed call from my youngest.

I don't have to tell you how I prioritized, right?

Legsy:

_Sorry for sneaking out on you like that, man. I freaked out and just had to get out to think straight_

_Well, maybe straight was the wrong word. Last night was wonderful, I just had to reevaluate some things._

_One last thing: Did you say something about me coming back so you could show me what the rest of that stuff was for? ;)_

And wasn't that just unfair? I replied quickly.

_No worries,  beanstalk. I guess this was a huge thing for you, huh? Well,  maybe not huge, but a very different thing. ;)_  
 _If you ever want to play, you got my number._

Then I returned my little brother's call.

- _Hello, you have reached Cas Jone..._

Fuck. Directly to voice mail.  Now, Cas never turns off his phone. Not anymore.

My little darling brother is gifted and smart,  he loved watching people and reading books with boring mile-long titles without any jokes in them.  He also has the social skills of the rock that other rocks tend to stay away from.

Once you get past the first impression,  which is no doubt marred by soul-crushing honesty,  you'll find there kindest soul there is.

But that first impression have caused him weird and painful experiences more times than I care to remember, and he have had to learn to keep his phone charged and turned on at all times in case he needs some brotherly rescue mission.

Quickly checking the texts from Mike I could feel my body tensing. Damn, I was going to have a fucking migraine by the end of the night, if I wasn't careful.

Mike  
 _Cas_ _called you too?_

And then

_Meet me at the hospital ASAP._

I can't remember a thing between reading that, and standing by the bed of my precious little brother. Beaten to a pulp and hardly reconizeable save from the mess of dark hair on top of the colourful mush that should have been a face. Mike was there too,  but as always calm and collected.

Me, on the other hand? Bawling my fucking eyes out. Yeah, I know it's not the manliest thing to do, but if ever there was a time...

After what seemed to be hours I finally got myself together enough to ask.

\- Who did... How did this happen?

Mike looked at me weirdly.

\- I already told you, Gabe! Twice! He hasn't been concious so nobody's been able to ask him. He was found outside The Kiln like this, keys in his pocket and phone in hand. Police are on it, but there's no witnesses and the place is untouched so there are no evidence to work from. All we know right now is what we see here.

\- Will he be all right? Will he wake up soon?

Mike sighed, shaking his head.

\- Impossible to know until he wakes up, really. His head's been through a lot. I was asked if I could think of anyone he knows that could bring on such a attack. The level of violence might indicate it or some shit like that. 

My head was racing with possible answers, but it was hard coming up with anyone. On one hand my brother was a rather solitary creature. On the other he could probably piss off inanimate objects, and ran a bar.

\- What did you tell them? 

He sat down by Cas's bed and buried his head in his hands.

\- Wasn't much to tell,  was it? I told them about the autism, that Jimmy only really knows us brothers. That the only one of us that would ever harm him is already locked up for doing exactly that. 

Wait...  I didn't tell you about that part right? Yeah. There's one more of us. Or two,  really. That we know of. My dad liked to stay busy... Only me, Mike and Cas have the same mom.

Our father had a way of marrying women everywhere he went. He wasn't as keen on divorce tho, and finally that caught up to him. That was when he dropped completely off the map. I give you Father of the Year, ladies and gents!

We don't talk much about Rae, she was born while dad was working over seas...

The brother he talked about was Luke. Born a week after Mike in the same damn hospital. Went to the same damn school. He used to have this air of superiority around him. When the revelation came, tho... He didn't cope well learning that there were God only knows how many more of us, and he was indeed not the special little snowflake he always thought he was.

Apparently his mom didn't either, and about six months after the big reveal, Mike was suddenly sharing his room with a rather pissed off Luke. It was around my 11th birthday, so Mike and Luke must have been 12.

Sometimes I wonder if the story would have been a little different if I had been the one sharing rooms with him. He was pretty broken at the time,  but not all gone. And really,  which 12 year old would be ok in his situation?

To learn that in the eyes of the law his dad whom he loved had never really been married to his mother, that dad had a "real" family. His mother was slowly drowning a little more at the bottom of every bottle of booze she brought back, and was no support for him.

But Mike was doing just as badly with it, and those two immediately started a war that never ended. I don't know how many nights I sat with my hands covering Cas's ears in our shared room while the battle went on. I can guess tho.  About 365 times six.

Cas didn't learn to speak until he was 4, and even then it was only ever to mom. He was 13 before he really started to talk to anyone else. And even then it was only about his main obsessions,  or replies to direct questions. I once asked him why.

_\- I saw no need for conversation, interactions seemed messy and there are so many phrases that are quite illogical. To me your conversations sounded like nonsense most of the time._

Unfortunately, this made him the perfect victim for Luke to take out his growing frustration on. I can't say I know how it started, I can't say when. But I know exactly how it stopped.

With Mike walking in on an 18 year old Luke doing indescribable things to our 8 year old little brother.

With Mike beating the shit out of Luke who laughed maniacally the whole time.

With Mike locking Luke up in the basement while he called the police.

With Mike having to go over the details of what he'd seen again and again and again.

With Mike dying a little.

Turned out in the end, once the spotlights were on Luke, that Cas had been lucky he didn't talk. There had been other kids in the neighbourhood. Kids that had gone missing. Kids that all were found in shallow graves not that far behind our house.

That's when mom broke too. And suddenly me and Mike were the adults, raising Cas.

And Luke? He's locked up for life. For lives, if he'd have them. If he were a fucking cat he'd still not be getting out.

So we don't talk about him. Most days Mike would pretend he never even existed.  But all that crap had been brought up again now, next to the bed of our little brother who life had treated so unfairly.

  - We'll find out, Mike. We'll find out who did this, why they did it. And we'll see that they pay. 

I'm a vengeful person. I admit that. I'd like to see creative punishments for heinous crimes. I think they should fit. I think bad people should experience the things they put others through. I think this person would...  But now I'm going ahead of myself again.

As I left the hospital, my phone started ringing. I answered it without even bothering to check who it was.

\- Hello?

- _Hi Gabe! It's Sam... I just got off work and I thought, uhm, I thought maybe I could pop by? I think I left my watch at your place._

I had completely forgot the night before, and with everything that had happened inbetween it still felt like years had passed.

\- Oh...  Sam. Right. Yes, you can stop by to get it. I'll be home in 15.

\- _Is something wrong? You sound so flat and you called me "Sam". I can stop by some other time, or you could just leave it somewhere for me to pick up if you don't want to see me or..._

\- No, kid! It isn't about that, about you at all. This day has just been horrible. Seeing a friendly face would probably do me good. 

- _Uhm. Ok. See you in 15 then?_

  - See you. 

I was only 5 minutes from home really. But the hunger was now really eating at me, and there was a nice little pastry shop on my way.

I picked up one of everything they carried. I'm a comfort eater, little beats baked goods on horrible days.

I ate five different cookies on my way home.

By the time I got there, a giant shadow was sitting by the front door. He quickly got up when he noticed me, and swept me up in a hug slightly reminiscent of a childs strangle hold on their favourite stuffed toy.

  - No offence, but you look completely miserable. 

He told me as he sat me down gently. I replied while holding one of my pastry bags in my teeth so I could find my damn keys.

\- Only half as miserable as I feel, I should think. 

He gently tugged at the bag.

\- You know I could carry this for you, right? Are you planning a party, or do you just run on starch?

I handed him both bags.

\- Could we...  I appreachiate what you're trying to do, but could we just lay off with the banter? Just for tonight? 

\- Sure, Gabe... I don't mean to pry but...  Well obviously I do. You're just a completely different man than the one I met yesterday... What happened?  
  
As we climbed the stairs I told him the simple facts. That my brother had been attacked and was now in hospital. The simple story and all we knew about it didn't take long to tell, and by the time we reached my door I had already given every detail.

There were no more words as we got in and he placed the bags on my counter. He didn't speak as he sat down on the couch or as he patted the seat next to him. Still silent, he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. My ear against his chest,  I could smell him and hear his heart beating in a stable rythm,  and I started to relax.

Only then did he speak.

\- You know...  My watch...  It wasn't the main reason I wanted to come. I needed to see that you were ok. Your reply to my texts... I was worrying for hours before I got it, and I guess I just couldn't shake that without seeing you. Good thing too. 

\- Oh?

\- Yeah. I mean...  Would you have asked anyone to sit with you if I didn't come? You shouldn't be alone today,  Gabe. I could tell that from the moment I saw you. And you don't seem the type to ask.  

I yawned as a reply. And I guess I fell asleep...

 

******

Actually... The music in here is getting on my nerves. I know a quieter place to continue this... How do you feel about burgers? My treat of course. I'll just grab my coat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will take a little longer for the next chapter to be up, as these were all pre-written, and I haven't had time to write any more this last week. 
> 
> And a real big thank you to anyone leaving kudos. They have made me happy, and makes posting worth it.
> 
> Also, poor Cas. I feel sorry for him.


End file.
